Tyler Stoken was a well-behaved fourth grader who enjoyed school, earned A's and B's and performed well on standardized tests.
"Oh, honey… I wouldn't have been having those meth-fueled ass-banging sessions with that gay hooker if you hadn't have let yourself go like that!" Another session of blame the wife, in the "I'm a conservative, christian, pastor who advises the president sex scandal."
Students rate professors, with some seriously funny sayings. Here are three of my favorite, but read all twenty.
Anyone who has ever tried to stuff a penguin into a backpack knows that birdnapping is harder than it sounds. Still, rumors persist that a child swiped a penguin from the Penguin and Puffin Coast at the St. Louis Zoo, stuffed it in a backpack and took the bird home to play.
Police have made an arrest following a bank robbery in which officials said the robber left behind some incriminating evidence. The crime was captured on surveillance video., but police identified their suspect, Rodney Harper, 31, without the tape.
Imagine using the restroom at your local bank and finding a loaded handgun on the back of the toilet. A Guaranty Bank employee discovered the gun Tuesday and called police, said Brookfield police Capt. Phil Horter.
A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.
Woman who robbed a bank located across the street from FBI headquarters, flags taxi cab to escape. "She runs out in the street and flags me down and says, 'I need to go to the Greyhound bus station," taxi driver Wayne Liens said.
The thief walked into the Bank of America with the mask covering his face and told everyone in the bank to get down. His first mistake was wearing a mask that obstructed his view.
A spooked deer rampaged through an apartment on Monday morning, leaving a flood, temporarily displacing a family and leaving the family dog temporarily unconscious.
A 75-year-old northeast Ohio woman is recovering from injuries she received this week when a deer got into her home and attacked her.
Sam the labrador snuggles up with fawn Bluebell — after adopting the orphan. Bluebell and Sam struck up an instant friendship. "She snuggled up to him in his bed and they've been inseparable ever since.
Video of a deer chasing a cross-country runner and then licking him. "I thought it would be pretty cool to pet a deer," said Kevin Cox, the 7th grader, chased by the salt licking deer. "So I walked up and started petting this deer.
It was a real-life version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears — only in reverse — when a woman came home to find a young bear eating oatmeal in her kitchen. "It sounds like a nursery rhyme, doesn't it?" Skelton said. "At least we have a health-conscious bear on our hands."
Colorado Division of Wildlife officers were called to a school near Boulder on Tuesday to deal with a drunk and disorderly, bear. The wobbly bear was spotted in a neighborhood in Lyons, near Boulder, and she was having a hard time walking.
A black bear picked the wrong yard for a jaunt, running into a territorial tabby who ran the furry beast up a tree — twice.
A 72-year-old woman making pot roast in her kitchen discovered uninvited guests in her home Thursday: a bear and her cub.
The founders of Google are at it again. Shaking up the world of philanthropy, by introducing a for-profit charitable arm.
Parents who warn their teenagers about the dangers of speeding will have another tool at their disposal when a product that monitors car speed hits the market this fall.
On May 10, 2006, the Hasbrouck Heights, New Jersey Police requested information in a suspected child molestation case. They wanted the name of an individual who had checked out a specific book. They did not have a subpoena.
Thought you knew the truth behind the iPod Nano "Scratch" class action suit—as with most news today, what you know maybe wrong.
Brent Childers has seen the light, and it shines on all of us. Once a homophobic Southern Baptist, Childers is now a friend of the GLBT community. Still a devout Christian, these days he's channeling his faith and energies in more loving ways than he did in the past.
Apple introduced the public beta of BootCamp, a software application designed to allow Intel Mac users to install and boot Windows XP from their Apple hardware, without damaging their Mac OS X install.
Wired News is reporting that Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is seeking to exempt Catholic Charities from complying with state law regarding gay adoptions. This story follows the seeded, Boston Catholic Charities Halts Adoptions posted March 10, 2006.
Wikipedia has taken action against a range of congressional IP addresses—banning them for the next week from making posts or edits at the site.
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